The Native 10-12-09

Once upon a time there was an Elder (me). When he first came to the MTC he was the worst in his class at Spanish, and his teachers marveled at his basic lack of language skills. This Elder quickly learned to humble himself and pray with all of his heart might mind and strength for the gift of tongues. Through his hard work devotion and faith he was able to sky rocket at Spanish. He quickly climbed the ladder and soon rested amongst the top three rungs in his class (major improvement). After teaching the first lesson totally in Spanish the Elder was feeling good. He had made it! He could express his feelings in Spanish, and portray the message of God to those who spoke another language. Things were good. However this Elder made a terrible mistake. His heart swelled with pride over HIS accomplishment and HIS achievements. He received a nick name the "native" for his latino-esq features and his Spanish skills.

Just as in times of old the Lord will have a humble people. We can choose to be humble and thank the Lord for our achievements, or we can be compelled to humble ourselves before the Lord and come crawling to him begging for forgiveness. Through my actions and pride, I chose the latter course.

Two days after rocking leccion uno (lesson one) in Spanish we were to teach it again. When we showed up to our appointment we were shocked to see an Elder in the room. I don't remember his name but this Elder was from Lima Peru, a native Spanish speaker. I heard of the dreaded Spanish teaching appointments with the natives. The machine gun Spanish can destroy even the greatest of Spanish speakers in the MTC. However I felt in my head I was prepared for what a native could throw at us and walked into the room with a high head and proud heart.

From the second word (which I had no idea what it meant) I realized I was doomed. His machine gun Spanish was not only fast, but like a whisper. His timid voice combined with the fast words was a nightmare. Here is how it would basically go:
I would ask a simple question in Spanish
He would then stare at me having no idea what I just said cause of my bad conjugating and thick American accent.
I would then struggle, re-phrase and re-conjugate.
The puzzled look on his face would slightly diminish and then he would then reply in a fast whisper
I would ask "repeato por favor" he would again respond
My comp and I would look at each other and mouth things like "I have no idea" or "what the crap"
We would then say "otro ves" (one more time)and even softer he would respond.
I had never been so frustrated in my life. My eyes began to swell with tears as I looked at the disaster of a lesson. We just sat there in silence staring at each other. My mind was taken away of thoughts of how if I just ran out the door there is no way my teacher could catch me, and if I made it to the dorms she is a female, and therefore could not come in after me.
Once the native saw my eyes were welling up with frustration he tried to be nice and talk to us in English. However his English was just as bad as our Spanish... So we just laughed. I have sobbed, and have laughed at the situation feeling so defeated, so useless, and a failure of a missionary.

It was two days later I would receive a letter from Elder Blake which saved my soul from the depressing pits of hell. He had enclosed a story about a man who saw a new missionary leaving and a missionary coming home. And how you could see how hard the missionary coming home had worked.

I resolved that I would be able to look at my mission as something I did with my all. I humbled myself. Tearfully prayed for help and since then have been doing so good.

I know things will be hard, and I know situations will come that I will not know what to say and do in my head. But I know if I am humble and working hard and willing to listen the Lord can put the words into my heart. I have been called to repentance by the Lord, but I am grateful.

I know the situation may seem lame, but it was something that was definitely hard to endure. Spanish has been such a humbling experience, but I know the Lord needs me to learn this language for a reason, so I will put my whole heart into it. I know I will fall short, but that’s why I am so grateful for an atonement that can make up for all of my natural man like faults.

I love you all so much and pray for you always.